To call this morning's foam roller stretch workout interesting would be a dramatic understatement. We were first subjected to the loud, repetitive, and extremely-high pitched screech of the building fire alarm being tested for no less than 15 minutes. But did we have to cover our ears? No, of course not! Hearing loss need not be feared when Team Vortex has its very own MacGyver(s) to violate fire marshal codes!!! Thanks to XXX, Walrus, Mr. Argentina, and Flipper, the horrible sounds coming from that pesky alarm were muffled by gym towels and packaging tape. I only wish I had my iPhone to document their resourcefulness. Of course the test was done right after they finished rigging it.
Once that entertainment was over, we resumed massaging our various leg parts per Coach's instructions. If you listened to a recording of these stretch workouts, it would be normal to hear little grunts, groans, gasps, and moans much like when you get a massage and a spot gets pressed really hard. But then there was the noise produced by Scary Hair which can only be referred to as a cross between the mating call of a howler monkey and the screech of a hawk catching its prey. We would have looked at her funny if she were not verbalizing what we were ALL feeling as we worked on our IT (iliotibial) bands. It is the muscle that runs up the outside of the thigh from your butt to your knee. For sure the most excruciatingly uncomfortable of all the body parts to stretch out with the roller. If any among you can work on your IT band with the Trigger Point Grid and remain totally silent (not even a peep), I will pay you $20. Your video proof will be posted on my blog for future fame.